ReadySoup

No Snakes Here

Scott — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 04:01:00 +0000

Horses are hilarious. Apparently there’s a new way to hide in Metal Gear Solid 5 where you slide onto the side of your horse so people can’t see you. While this would move your body out of sight, it hardly seems inconspicuous. There is still a horse walking by. Plus it would be wearing a saddle without a rider on it. Also they’d still be able to see your arms and legs holding onto the horse.

I have mixed feelings about the game itself. a lot of the sneaking they showed looked really god, but open world is not the direction I would have gone with the series. It’s already slow and tedious; this could make that much worse. They had to speed up the gameplay trailer through a couple minutes of horse riding and sitting in the back of a jeep before anything actually happened.

As far as the rest of E3 goes, I thought Nintendo had the strongest showing, followed by Sony, followed by Microsoft. Though to be fair that order also describes how much of each press conference I actually watched.

I put Nintendo first because It was the only E3 Press Conference (I use the term loosely) I’ve ever watched where I wanted to get every single game shown. Donkey Kong looks incredible. For those people saying that Nintendo is wasting Retro Studios on the title instead of making a new Metroid Prime, I say you’re wildly underestimating how good Donkey Kong Country Returns was. Not only would I say it was worth making, I’d say it’s significantly better than Metroid Prime.I continue to be excited for Pikmin 3, both Zeldas, and New Super Luigi Bros. U. Mario World 3D looks great, and I can’t wait to play with more than one person on a 3D title. Of course, my favorite news of the entire conference was the Wii Fit Trainer reveal. I don’t care what anyone says, I think it’s brilliant, she looks great in battle, and she might be my new primary character. Villager and Megaman are cool too I guess.

I would have put Sony first, but as I said in an earlier post, I just didn’t care about anything they said that wasn’t a game, so most of their conference I didn’t like. I also said that Kingdom Hearts 3 would sell a system for me though, so I’ll be picking up a PS4 (I know it’s not exclusive, but I think the system looks better than the Xbox One, and I’ll need to get one of them). Maybe not at launch, but I will get one. Also, Final Fantasy XV looks great in that it looks like it plays exactly like Kingdom Hearts, and if you haven’t noticed, I really like Kingdom Hearts. Division looks like it would be a good game for my Left 4 Dead team. I’m sure there’s other stuff, but I don’t remember it.

I didn’t watch Microsoft at all. I was at work when it ran, and nothing looked interesting enough to catch up on.

I Zu Ed A Little

Scott — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 04:01:00 +0000

So this has been a fun week, what with E3 and all. Lots of things happened, and I’ll write up my thoughts on the entire thing Monday after I’ve made sure I’ve seen everything. I will say now that it looks like I’ll be getting a PS4 because, like I said, Kingdom Hearts 3 is the only title I’d buy a system for. Probably not launch though. Maybe if Final Fantasy XV is a launch title though. That looks great in that it looks like it plays just like Kingdom Hearts.

Oh Yeah. Also Pokemon looks great, but we all already knew that, so I don’t really need to elaborate.

Roster Update

John — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 04:00:00 +0000

Bidets And Confused

Scott — Mon, 10 Jun 2013 04:01:00 +0000

I’m not sure why we framed this comic as if one of us had recently purchased a bidet. That certainly isn’t the case. We only started talking about bidets because we read a chainsaw suit comic about them, but we kept talking about them for a while and eventually looked up how to use one. It turns out that you need to fill a lot of bidets up and just dunk your butt into the water. Then, you’re supposed to use your hand to wipe “like you would in the shower.” Not only does this hardly seem hygienic, you need to burn a towel to dry your butt every time you use it. And more importantly, how do they know my showertime butt crack cleaning rituals? I would never assume that knowledge about someone. I just don’t watch enough people showering to make that call.

I Wuv You Wed Sowo Cup

John — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 04:00:00 +0000

While I did teach my nephew the chorus to Red Solo Cup, I did not teach him the drinking game of heroes. I am not irresponsible, just stupid.

Speaking of stupid, here are some more lyrics to Red Solo Cup.

Now a red solo cup is the best receptacle

For barbecues, tailgates, fairs and festivals

And you, sir, do not have a pair of testicles

If you prefer drinking from glass

Friends Don’t Let Friends

John — Wed, 05 Jun 2013 04:01:00 +0000

While enjoying this comic, I think it’s best to listen to the appropriate musics of Season or Ages. Yes, I do know they are the same song but we don’t play favorites in the ReadySoup household. Maple the Witch is an aggravating situation. Her capacity to help can be great if, by slim chance, she drops a ring or a heart piece but most of the time she’ll just show up to drop completely unnecessary rupees on the floor and then challenge you to clean up her mess faster than she can. All the while I’m supposed to be saving the world. Our priorities here don’t really seem to match up, mine being 1: save the world; 2-1,000,000,000: anything else; 1,000,000,001: picking up Maple’s loose change.

I’ve been playing a great deal of The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages; at the time this post goes live I hope to have just finished with Level 5 Crown Dungeon. Both Ages and Seasons are just extraordinary games. It is a shame a third iteration for the green goddess Farore never came to light. I remember as a child feeling there was a void created when this series known for its use of triangles ended after only showing two sides.

Edit: Just added some .gifs to the downloads page. Check it out!

I’ve Got Wood

Scott — Mon, 03 Jun 2013 04:01:00 +0000

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of of Ages/Seasons came out the the 3DS store last week, and they’re some of the best 2D Zelda games ever. John’s actually the one playing Ages first. He had Seasons when it first came out, so he wanted to switch it up. That tree is gross though. You need to pop his giant snot bubble to talk to him. Because apparently that’s a thing in japan. One’s unconscious state is manifested in a giant sphere of mucus that heaves with each breath, the rupture of which causes said state to cease. Also, John’s tree apparently wants to marry him, but we’ve covered Link’s romantic life in a good bit of detail in the past.

Who Throws A Hammer

John — Fri, 31 May 2013 04:00:00 +0000

There’s something entirely too real about the Hammer Bros. Throwing a hammer at someone would really hurt. It’d probably kill someone. I saw that scene in Django where Leo crushed that skull with the hammer. That was tense as hell, man. I don’t want that to be my skull. Pitfalls and giant turtles would probably hurt, but I don’t run into them much in my day to day life. I use a ball-peen hammer to break up ice for my scotch all the time. That’s too real, man.

Warning, No Spoilers

John — Wed, 29 May 2013 04:00:00 +0000

There’s a lot I’ like to write about Star Trek here.

Fusion Ha Ha

Scott — Mon, 27 May 2013 04:01:00 +0000

Hapy Memorial Day everybody. This whole drawing Pokemon fusions meme is a little strange. The fusion generator has been around forever. How are people just now starting to draw them?